A saved piece

Dec 5, 2006

of this commotion in this room...
when silence is much awaited
even air breathes aloud
even this heart doesnt stop
footsteps of a distant....
shake my floor
the screen blurs with a blink
water spills on my shirt
from a corner that was dry
or thought so it was
may be this silence that is
and that is awaited
will release me of this too now.....
no more silence
no more commotion
only a dry parched land.....
of lost days behind
and a storm ahead.....

some words just dont come...words form in in the mind and melt away in the throat as a heavy lump unexpressed, unsaid and unformed. they never see the light of forming a complete sentence..they are fearless words fearful of the world in which it would be percieved in. they never bring to light the truthfullness of the innocent heart that so flawlessly fails itself everytime it falls in love. everytime it silences the words in its head by saying this is not meant to be , this should not happen,... this cannot happen...this is not right....

the heart howeever always fails to understand the step like treatment by the mind that always has prisoned the expreessions that every heart beat offers. with heart beat it wants to scream out its intense love..hate and pain... yet silenced always under a lump of flesh in a wave of a pulse...echoing through every vein....tirelesslessy it constantly screams all its life to tell its tales..fighting all the odds...yet never winning to the strength of the cruel mind....it always says...u are not meant to be...u cannot be...u are not right.......

words....of my heart...i apologise....my heart has lost all battles....it has surrendered to the works of the cold mind....my own ears i have turned deaf to you...i have betrayed you my heart......after all the tales of love that you told me....they have only turned out into tales of the heart.....scream all your life....no more shall i hear you...your stories...your pain....for i too now say....u are not meant to be....nothing should happen....u should not be...u are not right......i should not be....never be..



this is what my life has come to be... with nothing behind and probably nothing ahead.......probably........