CANON tests

Slacker

September 2007

TURKEY is exciting

But never fly Turkish airlines. The flying of the craft is perhaps often done by some disgruntled and drunken Galatasaray player or fan. Both my trips to and fro to Istanbul I felt every kick that made the craft fly through the clouds and GOAL! You will wish you never found turkey exciting.

On top of that my boss insisted that as soon as the flight takes off I should lie down occupying all the three middle seats and not respond to any of the flight attendant’s efforts to wake me up.

ISTANBUL is beautiful

And they call us Hindustanis. Never visit Istanbul with 7 middle aged, vegetarian men who think getting out seeing Istanbul couldn’t be better than sleeping in their hotel rooms.

If however you get stuck with such 7 characters you must not forget to take a trump card, someone who will be middle aged, could be a relative of one of these men preferably from their wives’ side, non vegetarian and extremely enthusiastic to stay out all night looking for traditional food and rock cafes.

The HOUSE CAFÉ, banks of Bosphorus

Is simply breathtaking. The changing lights of the bridge, the dark river, the reflections from a cruiser occasionally passing by and the almost invisible other side of the river. I had to eat and drink something as exquisite as this experience. So I had well cooked sword fish with a cocktail called- college slackers, which I thought, had the most amazing blue colour. This I thought after I had half drunk the cocktail, was tipsy and this glass with its blue contents seemed the best thing to stare than the men sitting around me, and after the good looking guy on this other table finished eating and left without even getting know that I had been giving him the ‘yes’ looks. The BLUE was my only comfort.

The LAST dinner

Was a pleasant surprise. Our agent took us back to the banks of Bosphorus. We entered a restaurant which I clearly remember had a board of the house café somewhere around it and I thought were just entering a different section of the same place i had been before with my vegetarian herd.

Dishes and orders were happening between the Turkish speaking stewart and our agent Sezer. He asked for our preference of drinks and after everyone had ordered I asked for a glass of college -slackers. The man who took our orders came back from the bar in a few seconds and informed Sezer they didn’t have college slackers. I insisted I had it the previous day, and began explaining how it looked. The order for a drink must have crossed the time actually required to order a drink and hence the barman appeared himself to understand the matter. I explained him about college -slackers and I must have explained it well, because they nodded their heads, yet they seemed to have nothing that looked or sounded like college- slackers. I was quietly reflecting at this fact while everyone waited staring at my face. Finally the barman said something to Sezer and walked to the bar passing half a smile to me and half smile at himself.

Sezer interpreted him to have agreed to make something which might be close.

What came, other than being blue had no resemblance to college- slackers. I sipped a bit to check and realized this had graduated from college long time back. Sezer then translated the waiting barman’s smile- Sanjukta is the colour alright? Is it the correct pantone shade?

To which everyone roared out in laughter.

By the time I had finished this drink I was telling myself to keep my mouth shut as much as possible.

Living through Legends

I

When one has to list the few exclusive things the city of Kolkata has had in its possession one of the things that cannot be missed is the name of Satyajit Ray.

KOLKATA was our company's theme at a textile exhibition fair in Paris and hence this list was needed.

6 panels with the 6 most monumental icons of the city, and one would prove to be a big adventure for me and i had no clue about it.

This is how it went.

Sourcing and acquiring a photograph of Satyajit Ray was a task that didn't need much thinking, we thought. We could approach any film institute and request for a file photograph and then return them the photograph after we had scanned it. The final panel would be as big as 1mtx1mt.
From browsing the stock photography sites , to Nandan or the Bansal brothers who produced Ray's films, nothing worked.

I had been dilly dallying about going to SRFTI on the grounds of not wanting to bump into some familiar faces yet when the urgency of the matter couldn't be avoided i went to war.
I had the reference to a faculty, the chances of finding whom were bleak for i was told he was acting for a south Indian film, here in Kolkata or where nobody knows.
From the main gates of the institute to the administration office i walked with a thumping heart in case i walked into someone i knew. However one good way of hiding oneself on that path where nothing remains unexposed is to walk with an open umbrella in front of your face.
I inquired at the administration office if i could meet either the dean or the said faculty. The way into the administration office is, strangely , through a back door passage, while the main entrance remains locked guarded by a middle aged policeman.

the administration staff heard my requirements, twice, thrice, and nodded their head in unison telling me that the faculty was in some kind of a meeting which the dean was attending too. and soon after the meeting the dean was to hold another meeting between which he might take lunch which might take a convenient hour or two.
waiting for such a long time seemed pointless and i said i would come back after the weekend.
the reaction to which was as follows

one man then asked:"Apni cha khan? ( do you drink tea?)"

me: "Haen ( yes)"

the man: "Taholey apni canteen e jaan, giye adda marun ar cha khan ( then go to the canteen , chat up with people and drink tea)"

The man certainly seemed disappointed at my decision of to come back later.
However i couldn't afford to please him and left for the day

Fortunately, the day i was back, the dean wasn't meeting anyone .

The dean heard me out peacefully.
He then explained the difficulty of giving away the photographs without the permission of the photographer,because of the copyright issues involved.
He helpfully suggested me to go to the Roopkala Kendra, where i could meet one legendary Soumendu Ray, who kept a personal collection of the great film maker.
He also made a short call confirming that this 'legendary' person was in town and then helped me with directions to the institute.

Finding the institute was not all difficult. The difficult part was trying to figure out who this legendary man was. no stories, no legends which i could associate with him. At the institute i asked for Mr Ray and was given directions. I was ushered into one of the studios, where i saw the man and yet no thunder no lightning struck and i placed my request in the same frequency of plain urgency as i had done before to the others.

He asked very few questions and then signalled me to follow.
In another studio full of metal trunks his assistant unlocked such treasures i cannot tell. Rare photographs of Satyajit Ray were lined up and i had to choose. I pointed out one in which the great director sat working the script on the sets of Pather Panchali clad in a Dhuti and a Gamchha.
The rest of the pictures were carefully locked up again.
Mr Soumendu Ray then asked me to write a formal letter addressed to the director of the institute, duly signed by our company director.

That would not be difficult
My mission almost accomplished, i congratulated myself while i headed back to office.

Collecting the request letter i left office immediately to bring back the photograph.
However, before leaving the office i typed in the name Soumendu ray on Google and here's what i got

http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soumendu_Ray

• 1959: Marutirtha Hinglaj
• 1961: Drei Töchter (Teen Kanya)
• 1961: Rabindranath Tagore
• 1962: Abhijan
• 1964: Two
• 1965: Kapurush O Mahapurush
• 1967: Chiriakhana
• 1967: Balika Badhu
• 1968: Goopy Gyne Bagha Byne
• 1970: Aranyer Din Ratri
• 1971: Sikkim
• 1972: Seemabaddha
• 1972: The Inner Eye
• 1972: Pratidwandi
• 1973: Ferner Donner (Ashani Sanket)
• 1974: Sonar Kella
• 1976: Jana Aranya
• 1976: Bala
• 1977: Die Schachspieler (Shatranj Ke Khilari)
• 1979: Joi Baba Felunath
• 1980: Hirak Rajar Deshe
• 1980: Pikoo
• 1981: Sadgati
• 1984: Das Heim und die Welt (Ghare Baire)
• 1991: Ek Doctor Ki Maut
• 1993: Suchitra Mitra
• 1993: Der Schutz der Flügel (Charachar)

what can one do to such an ignorant like me...any suggestions??
..........................................................................................................................................................................

II

Returning to the institute i had to face another story.

I took the letter as per the rules. Mr Ray asked his assistant to take me to the director so that i could hand him the letter myself. also he rang the director to confirm his presence and to tell him about the matter.
The director's could be reached by a lift to the second floor into which you could not take your shoes.
Sanjoy Mukherjee, was seated in a well decorated spacious room as spacious but not so well furnished mind of his.
He hardly read my letter, handed it back to me, and while i was thinking that since Mr Ray had already spoken to him this would be a problem, he opened his mouth for a big NO
A small part of the conversation that i will never forget in my life went as follows.

SM: "I am sorry, we cant help you .
These photographs are the property of the West Bengal govt. why should the govt help you in this?"

Me: "Because we are portraying Kolkata, the state as the theme."

SM: "No i mean you are a commercial group. Right?"
Me:"Absolutely"

SM: "What is your contribution to the state? Why should the govt help you in any way?"

Me: "We are an export group, and export organizations bring in foreign investments to the state and to the country. don't you think that is any contribution? The govt pays drawback incentives to the exporters. don't you think then the govt should cooperate?"

( it seemed very silly after i had said it)

SM: "If you needed help you could have come earlier."

Me: "I could have if i knew. We tried everywhere. and only when i got to SRFTI..."

SM: "SRFTI doesn't want to take responsibility. They don't want to call a spade a spade. you should have asked us earlier. this is very unprofessional."

Me: "Thank you."

That was all i could tolerate.I took the letter from him and walked out.I went to Mr. Ray and told him that the director had refused and Mr Ray could just shrug his shoulders.

I turned around to go, with warm cheeks and tears almost welling up, still a lump in my throat. Walking out i called office and told this tale to a boss who went furious. and the lump then made cry. By the time i reached the exit i impulsively turned around and walked back to Mr Ray's room. Opening the door i politely apologized for disturbing him for one last time.
I asked him how well in advance should i have put in the request letter. This time my voice was shaky.

S.Ray: "shono! shono! ekhaney eshey bosho ( listen! listen! come and sit here)"

I went and sat opposite his desk with a drawn face.

S.Ray: "Listen i have a photograph at home. not the one you selected but a different one.
can you come home at 9 in the morning, before leaving for work?."

me: "Yes"

S.Ray: "But how can i trust you? what is the guarantee that you will return the photograph?"

me: "What could assure you of that?"

S.Ray: "Your words, nothing more that that."

me: "I take the responsibility then."

S.Ray: "Yes, then take it from my house tomorrow morning."

He scribbled his address on the envelope of the request letter and next morning i got the photograph, which was waiting when i entered his home.
Though the photograph could not be used for our purpose because of its bad quality and had to be returned exactly 3 days later, I'm glad that i still get to visit him on some excuse or other. he has lent me some film cds, spoken of his days while i drank tea with a piece of cake.