every sunday i sit with the old man to discuss legal matters...and i hear hymns from the local church.
the church is owned by the local 'holy child' school.. a reminder of my childhood.
holy child auxilium school, delhi... that is where i began in 1983 and here again i am trying to begin again by ending a time that began where it begins today.the sunday mass hymns seem to back my spirits, that are slowly breaking down with every visit to that old man.
strangely as im deteoriating physically and mentally into fragments, each one loosing its meaning and identity, the hymns feel like my mother's lap slowly taking me in and soothing my hurts with her touch.
i dread that chamber with huge racks of dusty books and chonicles of law. everything there is haunted, everything whispers and everything stares at me. when i speak my truth, everything mocks my existence and promises to wipe off every evidence of my innocence.
what can law do to give back the time i lost... the time i wasted... the only crime i committed
what can law bring back except fearsome memories...that is not justice...is it??
what can law create...it accuses me being a social offender because i stood up for myself, dared to everything that i deserved to do for myself...
again...
answers anyone??????
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