Date

Birthday 2007: Delhi, C.R.Park, spending my day in a first floor apartment, we ate horrible Dal Chawal for lunch and I was then shaken out of my dreams of a flowery future.

Gifts received: The Book Thief, and a heartbreak

Birthday 2006: My mom forgot, Shital came to Ahmedabad, we ate dark chocolates and coffee while watching the city lights from the top of the water tank on my roof and then kept talking till late night under the yellow lights of my penthouse.

Gifts received: A pair of red shoes, Shital's chocolates, few strands of Grey hair and acidity.

Birthday 2005: i spent the day cooking for a mob, couldn't spend the day with the i wanted to, and watched men getting drunk. a bunch of children kept singing 'happy birthday' all evening and an old woman cursed the Paneer masala for chillies. Neha wanted it hot and i forgot who else would eat it.
The grounds were set, to my freedom, and i didn't know, it was all just a week away.

Gifts received: hand drawn cards in crayons, Full Frontal, and the end of myself

How old am i going to be this year?

any guesses?

Those who have read my post " i don't wait" will know how 'waiting' is a big part of my life.
Strangely, I thought I eagerly waited for my birthday only when I was young. but I feel the eagerness even now.
The question remains what exactly do I wait for? The birthday which most do not know , when? have forgotten? and those who remember I hide from them.
But I still expect something!...something to happen!... someone to jump about! everyone to scream and shout! the neighborhood to know! the prime minister to call me!
But as my birthday approaches I switch off all notifications and reminder books by which people may know when I was born, I delete the few messages that I receive and hide under the bed.
Often I feel uncomfortable when people remember and my parents are around to remind everyone.
Birthdays are for sulking, for crying and crying while you look into the mirror. It always feels good after a week that no one remembered... no one even bothered to wonder if I have a date of birth? wonder would a day come when I woke up and in my morning daze and it suddenly flashed upon me that last week my birthday went by...I didn't remember, no one reminded me...

This year:
I bought my gift last week...and i love it
a red quilted jacket...a long one...i love it! love it! love it!

This is not supposed to be a sad post. i forgot to write that in fact I myself remember not a single birth date without notifications flashing on my screen.